1. Our new mayor-for-life has better comic timing than New York’s mayor-for-life.
2. You can’t afford friends in Los Angeles.
3. Europe is more broke than you are.
4. Our hockey team can kick Canada’s ass.
5. If you really “Keep Austin Weird,” you get electrocuted.
6. The Pacific Northwest loves heroin for a reason.
7. However hot it gets, you don’t want to get a tan in Phoenix.
8. Have you tried catching a Von Trier flick in Costa Rica?
9. Short skirts and Uggs aren’t all-weather club gear in Antarctica.
10. Iraq is so 2003.
Best of Chicago 2011