A unisex stripper poll by the visiting team’s bullpen
Until the Cubs decide that winning baseball games means something and until the fans actually begin coming by the millions every year to watch them play instead of joining “Chicago’s best outdoor party,” the organization needs to fully commit to the stereotype that has become reality. Go all out. Make David Guetta or Tiesto the resident DJs, institute an eight-beer minimum, have a bouncer outside Gate D for the girls that come in cut-off Cardinals’ jerseys and during the seventh-inning stretch (after “Take Me Out To The Ball Game” is sung, of course), let anyone who pays the $100 fee work the pole!
AUDIENCE CHOICE: Tear it down
Audience comments: “Moving them to Kankakee”; “A Red line station FOR DOUCHES ONLY”; “A winning team”; “Hot Dougs stand”; “An idiot alert at the turnstiles that would be constantly going off.”
Best of Chicago 2013